WHY is the HARDEST To Answer?
The question of WHY has been coming up more often these days, unfortunately, this question has been the hardest for me to answer because WHY has so many layers. The answer could come from a physical place, a mental place, an emotional place, a spiritual place, a financial place, a belief place, a value place and so much more. The answers could be limitless. However, we may choose to answer this powerful question with the easiest answer….just because or I don’t know?
Almost 2 years ago, I sought out Cannabis for my alcohol consumption. My WHY 2 years ago, was I wanted something to help me drink LESS that was my WHY. I had little to NO knowledge about Cannabis, I only had this curiosity calling.
I have been over consuming alcohol since I was a teenager. When I drank alcohol it was always for the buzz which inevitably lead to the drunk which lead to justified excuses for “bad” behavior. At the beginning this was OKAY; it was acceptable. That is what we did when we “PARTIED”, and partying was done occasionally not ALL the time and it fit within my life. As the years went by my partying increased to more than occasionally to frequently and some weeks it was daily and it became my lifestyle.
Cannabis has helped me drink less so much less that I have not had a drink in 4 months. However, this did not happen overnight and not with Cannabis alone but inconjuntion with mindful lifestyle changes and the support of my family, friends, colleagues, and the Cannabis community. These are my partners in my healing process (my Cannabis Journey) providing me a safe place to heal my body, my mind, and most importantly my soul.
My Cannabis Journey brings me to the question…WHY did I drink?
This question comes up for me frequently because I am not sure I am ready to face the answers. I can easily answer from a physical place. I drank for the “buzz” or the relaxation. Easy enough? That answers leads to the next set of WHYS. Why do I use alcohol for relaxation? Because I am anxious. Why am I anxious? I don’t know? Each answer creates more questions and those questions become increasingly harder to answer for me. They drill down to the darkest and scariest places in my mind, body, and soul. Those places that we try our hardest to ignore and forget. My Cannabis Journey involves working on answering these questions; when I am ready to answer these, then I am ready for my next set of WHYS and the next step in my Cannabis Journey.